The Girl Who Dreamed Of Flour And A Tube
by TaylorGangGirl
Summary: This is the story of a fifteen, drug addict, girl named Nadiya. After a terrible event, she leaves London, and goes to Newcastle, determined to stop hard drugs and start a new life. But fate strikes, and everything goes wrong. Liam/Nadiya
1. Chapter 1 : Leaving London

_Hello everyone :)_

_This is my first fiction so don't be to hard on me._

_Okay, so this is basically the story of a drug addict girl that decides to stop drugs and start her life again. She lives in London and moves to Newcastle to her new care home Elm Tree House._

_I have taken personally hard drugs not so long ago, and I smoke, so every feeling Nadiya has is true… I felt them myself. I haven't taken heroin though, but one of my friend has. Today I am clean and I decided to write a story on the series Tracy Beaker Returns with every character, because I like it, even if I am a bit old (sixteen, its my little sister that incited me to Tracy Beaker haha)._

_I like Liam, he is good looking, so this will be a Liam/Nadiya story._

_Oh, and I am french, I was born in Paris, but my mother is english so we watch british TV. So forgive my spelling problems._

**_This story is rated M for :_**

-They are difficult, shocking scenes, that deals with drugs and sometimes abuse.

-they will be a, or a few sex scenes between Liam and Nadiya, you choose.

- Language.

_So if you are too young, or easily shocked, don't read. But this story is very interesting for those who like difficult lives, and details._

_There :) review please to tell me what you think. I will update very soon !_

Nadiya woke up with a terrible headache this morning.

She opened her eyes and stared at the white ceiling above her ; she blinked a few times before realizing she wasn't in her room. The young girl couldn't recognize anything she was surrounded by. The ceiling was plane and smooth, whereas hers was cracked and dirty. The bed she as lying in was soft and her head rested on a pillow. In the hotel room she actually stayed in, nothing was either soft or clean. The thing was, she couldn't remember why she wasn't in it.

**.The Girl Who Dreamed Of Flour And A Tube, By TaylorGangGirl, Chapter one: Leaving London. **

The headache was painful. Nadiya though of last night.

Friday the 13 was a special day; It was the day she was born. Then again, was it really worth celebrating ?

Nadiya was an orphan. She was abandoned two days after stepping into the world ; left by her mother in a dust bin, near a Pizza shop. It was the man who owned the shop, Gino della Carte, who found her crying her lungs out. Around the tiny baby's neck was a note : "Keep her safe, forgive me".

"Keep her safe" thought the young girl "I never felt secure"…

Suddenly, her past life came back to her, and the pain was unbearable. It felt like a knife stabbing her to the chest. She closed her eyes and decided not to think about it.

The room was actually a living room, and the bed she was lying in was a sofa. As she sat up, holding her head in her hands, she then stared at the empty wine and vodka bottles, the burned out joints and the cigarette butts. On the floor was piled up beer cans, spilled food, and clothes. The Girl looked at herself. She was still wearing the red dress she had stolen from New Look, and the high black heels that killed her feet when she got up to the kitchen.

The problem was, she didn't have enough money to spend. Stealing clothes allowed her to dress well, so that people wouldn't judge on her look. She wore fashionable, original, and sometimes sexy clothes. Stealing was also part of a game, in which she played with her life.

Nadiya was french. She had been adopted by a nice family, and lived in Paris till she was twelve. Then, after terrible events, she moved to London, moved from care home to care home, got fostered a few times, but nobody could stand her.

She was wild, distant, and terribly unpredictable. She let no one control her. The girl had friends all over town ; her own trashy, junky friends she thought understood her. Sometimes though, the girl would wonder off in the city at night, loving the sound of people talking, of cars, and all other sorts of noises. All the pressure the world gave her, would disappear in these moments of solitude. Every sound was music, she felt so pure, and nobody knew her.

It was the family "stay together for ever" thing she disliked most of all. The girl was a unfortunately drug addict ; she would go out all night with her friends in London, passing the evening in clubs. Nadiya took cocaine most of the time with other substances like ecstasy, amphetamine (powerful drug used to knock a horse out), and Weed. Sometimes heroine.

Today, Nadiya had woken up in a house she didn't recognize, and with people she didn't know. She was drinking milk while staring at the sleeping bodies of men and women, all pilled up on the sofa or on the floor. The place smelled of smoke and cold vomit.

"talking about smoke" she though… the girl lit a cigarette and inhaled the burning substance. She smoked while thinking "Newcastle people are awesome".

A month ago, she had escaped from her last foster family and lived on the streets for about three days. She lived with a friend in a cellar, taking drugs all day, and when they had no money, they would go out on the street. The most terrible thing with the girl was the fact she sometimes sold her body to earn money. Living in such conditions was terrible, but the need for drug even greater. It was a sunday morning when the police finally caught her, nearly dead, heroin flowing in her delicate veins. The girl had been dragged to her social worker.

- There is, he told her with a desperate voice, a real problem that needs to be solved. You nearly died back there, you've run away and been rejected from you're foster family for the 10th time. Good lord ! Nadiya I was so worried ? He thought a moment. They couldn't send her to rehab. She had already gone there not so long ago, and it had been a terrible experience for the girl, and a mistake… I have taken a decision Nadiya, we need to talk…

The girl looked at him and said "I need a smoke".

Her social worker was a kind and wise man. He had met Nadiya after her second run away, and a special bond had been created directly between them. He had never let her down. Other social workers would have just quit her case due to the lack of sleep and peace she gave them. She was a difficult person to maintain, and would spend most of her time alone under a bridge or with friends in a club. She was terribly unpredictable. But even if she was a difficult child, he had grown patient with her, and gave her the freedom of her choices. To his colleagues, who where against such freedom, he would say "Would you like to see a beautiful wild bird in small cage ? unable to fly and terrified ? No. Thats why I leave her alone. And anyway, she always comes back." His name was Louis Boulanger. He had discovered her drug problem truly after her overdose.

But for the first time, he felt tired and discouraged by her. He had searched every care homes, phoned every family he judge keen to accept her fragile and unique personality. None had worked. No one wanted a drug addict as a kid, and the parents would always discover her terrible secret too late. As he doubted on his own skills as a social worker, he gave her the cigarette she craved for.

- You smoke to much, he said cooly.

She ignored the comment and smoked, filling the air with grey particles.

-You what to know what I want ? She said smiling. She had beautiful white teeth once, now they were yellowed by the fags…, I don't want to go back to a care home. It will always be the same. Its not the people I don't like. Its when I'm alone in a room, it makes me remember of…, She stopped talking, and with shaking hands she lit an other cigarette,… I cant stand it. The silence. Thats why I run away. Nobody comes to me, nobody helps me when I need them. They leave me alone in the silence, and when they ask what's wrong, it's to late, I cant stand the place. It only brings me back to when…

She looked at him with watery eyes and said : "Louis, I cant go back. And I cant go to rehab. I feel safe surrounded by noise, or with friends, but with a clear and loud sound".

- I know Nadiya. It's very difficult for you, but you have no choice. You have to live and be in care of some one until you're at least 16.

The girl remained silent. She was stuck. Reaching sixteen in more than a year, she still had to wait before being totally free of her choices. Her old care homes had been hell for her. The other kids where not mean though, she only felt like no one understood her, and then she was afraid. And then She would take cocaine.

Louis Boulanger and her had a secret spot, where they would talk things over. It was a bench near a peaceful lake, under a willow tree. The leaves had an autumn red gold color in this time of year. The sum warmed up Nadiya's delicate face, as a cool breeze waved her long blond hair. She had the most beautiful hair, witch reached the end of her back. Sometimes, when she was alone, this place was the only spot were she felt secure. The girl could contemplate the view for hours, and listen to the birds. On this very same bench, she had cried her heart out, and laughed with Louis. He was her friend, and she loved him. He was the only person she could trust, and seeing him disappointed in her made her heart bleed. But now, She had to face the fact that he couldn't prevent her from care homes.

-What if, he started, after a long silence between them, I find you a care home some were else ? Far away from here. Where you would move on more easily and feel good…, He thought a minute…, You could start all over again. Forget about drugs. Since rehab wont do anything, an I doubted a specialist care home will fit you... I could find you a nice place with good and caring people. They would make you feel welcome… and human. If I do find a good care home, promise me you won't run away, or take hard drugs.

He didn't know about the prostitution. And it would stay like this.

- I can't make any promises, she said sadly, throwing the end of her cigarette in the lake.

- But… If I find you a good place ? A place where people are different. They would take care of you.

Nadiya laughed and said "I can give it a try. Its true that… When I took it and that… everything went black… I was so scared. It's so painful Louis, I feel so tired and sick of living. I haven't taken heroin or coke in days. I need it and its killing me…. Its true… I what to change. When I did my overdose it opened my eyes, and I know I must stop. I have taken drugs since I was thirteen… I want to forget my past, all the lies, the deaths, the pain, the… You get it. But I don't know were you will find such a place. I've tried every care homes in London."

-You never listen carefully. London is finished for you. It brings you back to many memories, and your friends haven't stopped you with the drug problem. I'll send you far away from here.

-What ! You are moving me away from London ? What about my friends ?

-Nadiya, don't make me remind you that it is you're "friends" that have supported your drug addiction. They haven't help you, they made it even worse. You can see them when you are fully cured and well. But right now you are fragile, and I know you wont stand a chance to dentition.

-If they had known about my past, they would have stopped drugs.

-But they didn't. You didn't tell them. How could they know you delta with drugs before ? You should have been more careful… Any way. I have a friend, an old friend. He owns a care home in England. It's a very nice place I heard. I'm sure my friend will be charmed if you came intone his care. He has dealt with very difficult and broken children. They live a very happy life now. Its in Newcastles.

Newcastle ? Nadiya couldn't believe her ears… "its so far, she thought". Nadiya loved London, but Louis was right. If she had any chance of having a decent life, she had to move on. It was hard. What Louis told her, surprised her and she started crying.

- I know its hard to move on, he said patting her shoulder

-I'm not crying because i'm leaving, I'm crying because I need it, and my arm is burning.

Louis looked at her left arm, and saw little red holes, were the girl used to inject heroin with a needle. Under the skin of her arm, and the little holes, was a big, black vein, dead, rotten (when you take heroin, you inject yourself with a needle in the same vein, until it dies because of the drug. It basically rots under the skin).

-My poor girl, he said with tears in his yes. It wasn't her fault, after all, the first time she took heroin, it was against her will.

-I will miss London, she said between sobs, then her mind went blank ; she felt so tired and depressed. Without her dose of drug, she would be in such a pain that it nearly drove her mad.

It was far from the town she had lived in for fifteen years in, the new care home. Far from the city that only shone in her nightmares.

-Well , her care worker asked, Do you agree ?

She reached slowly for the cigarette case in his pocket before saying : Yeah.

"Newcastle people are awesome"

Nadiya started to remember last night, although she had black holes in her memory. Her and Louis had reached the city yesterday morning, and had settled in a cheap hotel, since it was two in the morning. It had been her birthday, she was now fifteen.

Louis slept the rest of the night alone; she went to a local pub just as soon as they arrived.

Nadiya, even if she was a solitary person, loved going to public places such as cafe's, high streets and clubs. Nobody knew her, and she felt pure when going there. She faked her identity, changed her personality, and the game would begin. But this was not the only reason.

The girl was gifted with the incredibility to dance like no other. So she liked showing off her skills in front of a crowed ; the girl felt powerful and above all.

Since she was a child, Nadiya danced like a professional without taking any lessons, by moving her body so that every one was amazed with this incredible talent. There was no shame for her to move her hips or jump in the air while screaming. It made her feel alive.

At two years old, she was adopted, and her new parents noticed the first day she stepped into the house, that she was gifted. The girl started to take ballet lessons. It was a great discovery for the her to work with people that were like herself, although she was way better than the other girls in her group. Ballet became an obsession ; she dance it every were she went : at school, at home, even when she washed or walked in the street. What pride and glory she felt when she demonstrated her brand new moves. But ballet wasn't the only style of dance she learned. The girl learned street dance, pop, and even the legendary Tango. Nadiya became the pride an joy of her parents, and when she reached high school, the girl went to a special place for dancers. It gave her a purpose in life, she new what she wanted to become. Until she was thirteen ; it was a monday when every thing changed.

It ended what she had achieved for years, and broken her hopes for a good future. But, although she didn't go to ballet lessons any more, she still danced every thing she knew.

The pub was full of sorts of people. In a corner was the old generation sipping beer and talking about memories and wives, in the other were drunk young adults, singing vulgar songs. The atmosphere was most delightful and welcoming. The air smelled of alcohol. The girl liked it, and went forward to the younger group who stared at her with desire and amazement. She asked for three shots of vodka, and, as a blond boy talked to her she started the game. The barman didn't even ask her age ; with her red short dress, black leather jacket, black spiky heels, and heavy make up, she looked much older than her actual age. She knew she looked like a slut, but nobody ever hesitated giving her what she wanted. It made her feel powerful, and she craved for these moments were she was a complete other person. Attention made her forget her past and herself.

Somehow, she couldn't remember anything else from the night. Nadiya supposed she was drunk to her limit. She had flash backs of pictures in her head, of a group of young men and woman taking her with them. That was how she arrived to the house. She remembered other pictures of a wild party between her and the others, then it was all black.

She found on the floor finished joints, and a old weed head. So she had drunk and smoked, and… maybe even… done something with one of the boys. The girl had already had a one night stand, and it didn't scare her. She had sold her body more than twice. Still, she checked her self, but found nothing.

Nadiya had to go back to Louis. He knew she had been out. He was used to it, even if it was forbidden for her to leave his sight for too long. But she always came back, so he didn't worry too much. But this time, she was fragile, and he was terribly worried.

The girl looked at the kitchen clock. It was covered in tomato sauce or ketchup, or something red that made it difficult to read the time. It said 9.30. She had to go now. She didn't know where she was. Worst of all, her feet were suffering from being in heels for the past 10 hours. She took them of, and before leaving the place, checked the bodies around her.

It was 10.17 when Nadiya finally got to her social worker. She was bare foot and tired from running. The unknown place wasn't far, thank God! from where Louis was waiting. She just didn't know which way to go.

-Where were you young lady ? What did you do huh ? Please tell me you didn't

-No, I didn't take any. I was out. Don't think that I would have stayed in this horrible hotel during my birthday. And sorry if I worried you,... I didn't know were I was going. I got lost.

-Where did you go ? I suppose you had a great time since you didn't come back to the hotel. And sorry its horrible, but I couldn't find any other at two in the bloody morning. Any way of we go.

Nadiya told him about the strange and wild night she had had, then smiled. When she checked the bodies, she had found at least fifty pounds, some weed, and three full packets of cigarettes.

-Be careful, said Louis, you were lucky last night. But if you had a good time… and it was your birthday after all. Anyway we have to talk, let's go to a cafe, I'll explain.

It was a lovely cafe. Nadiya smoked her stolen cigarettes while listening to Louis. He told her that every thing was in place. He had called his friend, and he had accepted to keep Nadiya to his care. Also, when they'll arrive at the care home, she would not go to school right away. The girl will have to learn through a correspondence course.

The care home was called Elm tree house. Nadiya thought it was a nice name. Then, her care worker told her that for the sake of all the efforts he had put in this case, it was forbidden for her to run away. She had a month to try out the home, and if she disliked it, then they would go back to London. She agreed. There was another problem. Stealing, he told her, was not allowed. It meant she could not steal from the others, naturally she wouldn't. After all, they were care kids just like her, with a difficult past. But then she thought about the shops. He hadn't said a word about them, so she wouldn't change that habit, and even if he had mentioned them, she wouldn't have listened to him. Then they talked about the partying, the smoking and drug problem. Since she was in a great pain at the moment, she could smoke in her room, but when no one was there, and with the window open. When the others were at school, she could smoke as much as she wanted, but in their presence she had to be careful. She had to show a good example. As for drugs, her new care workers would do anything to help her. They knew she had moved out of London to forget drugs and get on with her life.

She had weed right now on her, Louis knew and told her that it would be the last of it she ever smoked. And that anyway she couldn't find someone to deal with her since she was a stranger in this city. The girl grinned because she knew that dealers were easy to find if you looked in the right places. Although she refused to let the Marijuana go, she promised herself to never smoke in front of any other resident of the home.

As for the partying, Louis told her that she could go out at night on saturday and come back a eleven a clock maximum. But not alone. She had to be with an adult, other grown up, or respectable kid. The girl thought it was a joke.

What drove her mad in the end was Louis telling her that living in another city was the perfect opportunity to stop smoking. "Piss off" She said.

They both stayed silent.

Louis paid for the coffees and went to his car. He opened the door and called out : Are you coming ?

Nadiya was day dreaming. Her mind went balk as she stared at her cigarette butt. She slowly looked at her care worker when he called her name, and with an extreme lassitude, went in the car.

-You took all my things right ?

-Yeah…. said Louis, in a '_your question is very stupid' _tone . As he started the car the girl cried out: Louis I have to change clothes !

-Why couldn't you do it the café ?

She ignored him and searched in her clothes bag something more "decent" to wear. After five minutes of wondering, she finally opted for a blue skinny jean, a white t-shirt with her favorite singer on it : Wiz Khalifa, black 6inch heels, and a dark blue jean jacket with black wool inside, and a large woolly dark grey scarf. She then put on heavy make up with false eye lashes. Dark red lipstick, and the girl was finished.

-You know, its only kids over there.

She still didn't answer and lit a cigarette before turning the post on, and she began to day dream.

_ So, what did you think ? Review people, but don't be to hard ! The better reviews, the quickest i'll update :) Much Love From Paris xxx_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hello again people ! Ok, I'm really sorry I couldn't update this story in a long time, but I have good excuses (not that you are actually interested in my privet life) : Exams, exams, exams and... Well I have a life. But don't worry ! This is maybe the last time I'll take this long to update, but I cant make any promises. What I can promise you is that I am finishing this story._

_So, to say sorry for the wait, I did a very long chapter, and there is a Liam/Nadiya scene. Nothing hot, just a unique way of meeting haha. _

_You know you people make me feel so good. When I read the nice reviews I had, It really made me feel special. So continue reviewing, send me every thing you want : Ideas, critics, like or not like... whatever, but nothing mean. And thank you for the reviews ! Loads of kisses!_

_In this chapter, there are song titles, the kind of music I like. In this story I'll put some titles, and I really advise you to listen to them. Who knows ? Maybe your'e find a new favorite song ! _

_Anyway, I'll shut up, so you can enjoy ! Good luck !_

Nadiya was a chain smoker.

As she and Louis arrived at Elm Tree House, the girl had finished the once full packet of cigarettes. The car was full of smoke and she stank; her poor care-worker was choking, but he knew that moving on to somewhere completely different created stress. Unfortunately the girl needed to relax in some way or another; she had no drugs to rely on, just fags. Louis could never have imagined that she had depended on cocaine all these years, and worse, a few weeks back, heroine. One of his close friends had died of an overdose :**he never stopped because drugs were his life. **Nadiya was awfully young for such experiences, and her face's complexion looked like Death was close. Since she had left London, she hadn't smiled once, or laughed, and barely moved, except her tired eyes. Her left arm was shaking. Her face, covered in make-up, just hid the pale skin and the dark circles under her eyes. Her glassy eyes stared into nothingness, motionless. And for him, it was worse, as he had to watch.

**The Girl Who Dreamed Of Flour And A Tube, by TaylorGangGirl.**

**Chapter 2 : One first real smile.**

They had arrived. Louis stopped the car a few meters away from the big house. It was lunch time.

Nadiya was hungry. Since she had stopped the drugs, the girl craved for food, but controlled her cravings. She knew that eating too much would make her fat. Not finding comfort in food, she turned to cigarettes, smoking a packet a day mostly, or more if she had the money.

They waited as the girl smoked one last cigarette, looking out of the car window. Slowly, she observed her future home, trying hard to focus. It was a grand building; dark red bricks surrounded by grass. The house had several windows and the shimmering red of the brick against the windows reflection made the house look alive. A few meters away, a majestic Elm tree was overlooking proudly. It looked like it was a hundred years old. Nadiya felt confident that she would find peace in such a lovely setting. The leaves of the tree were a nice reddish, yellow color, and the last autumn flowers gave the place, a final touch of magic. In London, the girl had never seen a care home, looking so welcoming. She ditched her fag, opened the car door and stepped out, followed by Louis. He opened the boot, and took out her luggage.

-It's very nice, she said. It was the first time during the day that she actually smiled.

-Yes it is, isn't it. I think you'll be happy here.

Nadiya turned to her social worker with great smile on her face, and her eyes shone with life. The look she gave meant everything : a warm thank you.

The girl took out of her hand bag a small mirror, and looked at her reflection. A tired, pale and dead looking person was staring back. Shivers went down her spine as she closed the mirror and walked to the great wooden door. Laughs, and childish voices could be heard from the other side. It was a Saturday. Every one was at home, or most of them; the kind of little children that did nothing on a day off. At least, the girl hoped it was. Other teenagers of her age spelt danger: rivalry, teasing… Nadiya had never been bullied, but now that she was fragile, she could be an easy target. She knew it would be impossible to act normal around these kids in her state. They would find her weird, maybe scary, but that again she didn't mind. It was the mean jokes or arguing that bothered her. If the people there were mean, she would surely crack, and this experience would have been in vain… It would be to late to start again.

Louis pressed the door button and both waited a few seconds before a small boy answered. He was about ten, maybe eleven years old, with black curly hair, dark eyes, and a serious look upon his childish face.

-Who are you ? He asked, as he flicked magically in his hand a medium size, black note book and a pen.

-Hello young man, my name is Louis, and this is Nadiya. She is going to stay with you now.

The boy looked at Nadiya, wrote something in his note book, stared at the luggage, back at louis, and wrote again. This awkward situation lasted maybe two minutes, before the boy spoke:

-I don't believe you. Neither Mike or Gina have told us of a girl called Nadiya coming here.

-Oh, well could I talk to Mike please ?

-That won't be possible. He is looking all over for Liam and Frank. So if you want to talk to him come back in one or two hours.

-Listen, er…, what's your name ?

-Why do you want to know my name ?

-Never mind, stop messing, can we come in ? Nadiya said, annoyed with the stubbornness of the weird boy.

-No, we're not aloud to let strangers in.

Louis was fuming, and Nadiya couldn't help smirk at his frustration. What kind of people lived here ? Of all the people she imagined, the boy was definitively the last person she thought of.

-It's all right Gus, let them in. Sorry about that, I'm Mike.

-You can never be to careful, replied Louis smiling at the tall, Irish man. He had grey white hair, and a flowery shirt, which was quite funny to wear in this season. He looked like the man you would find on a beach in Miami. Nadiya shook the man's hand after introducing herself, and tried to smile at him. They were led into the house which was cosy looking and large. The walls were red, and covered in pictures. Toys were scattered in corners, the smell of chips was all over the place, and a large piano was leaning against the wall. Nadiya heard a woman screaming at someone called Tracy, and footsteps came from above. Nadiya looked up to see coming down from the stair case a doll face girl, with dark straight hair. She saw the girl and Louis, and forward, a great smile on her face.

-You must be Nadiya ! I'm Tracy, care-worker, but if you need anything I'm here !

-I think Gina's the one who needs you, Mike said gesturing towards the lounge, or kitchen, or whatever, it was a room.

Tracy frowned, and went on, Mike showed Louis his office. Nadiya looked back at the room Tracy had just entered, and saw several pairs of eyes watching her. They were all kids, aged between ten and fourteen.

They went into the office and Mike offered Nadiya a chair , while Louis held her hand.

-Ok, so… Nadiya, I've read your file and I know the reasons you're here at Elm Tree. Gina (you will meet her soon), and Tracy are aware of this. What you must always remember is that we are here to help you if you need anything. So any problem, trouble, anything, you can tell us. Your room is near Gina's so you can wake her up if you have trouble sleeping. The kids, of course don't know about your past or why you are here. We will tell them to be easy with you because you had a hard time. If they ask you questions at first it's normal, because normally every one is aware of everyone's past. But don't worry they'll leave you alone very quickly. Oh, and as for your smoking, Louis told you I guess. Bedtime is at ten for you, since you are one of the oldest. And if you go out Friday or Saturday night, you must be with someone. No going out at night on week days. Okay, so… do you have any questions ?

Nadiya stared at the man. He looked at her kindly, and it made her feel sick. She didn't know why, and she tried to control the feeling of disgust showing on her face. Slowly shaking her head, the girl got up. She jumped, as the door opened, and a plump, and tanned woman came in.

-Oh !… You must be Nadiya yeah ? I'm Gina,… The woman had a very strong Jamaican accent.

Nadiya looked down at her left hand, it was shaking. She needed a smoke. The more these people, as nice as they seemed, looked at her, the more they made her feel pathetic, and unable to protect herself,… it made her feel sick. She looked up to Louis, and said in French : "Je dois fumer". Louis, himself was French (just look at his name), and, even if he didn't speak perfectly the language, he still understood it well. He nodded.

-Maybe it'll be better if she goes to her room now. The trip was tiring.

-Don't you want to meet the others before ? It'll be better if you do it now. Tracy just told them about you arriving,…. said Gina.

Nadiya clenched her fist, and finally agreed. The woman was right, better now than ever. She said thank you to both care-workers, and stepped out of the office, soon finding herself surrounded by children.

All, staring at her, making the girl feel like some sort of extraordinary museum master piece. She quickly looked at them and sighed; she wasn't really bothered introducing herself. All she had in mind was the cigarette burning, and the vile white smoke traveling in and out of her lunges. A girl with a pretty face and tanned skin jumped up in front of her.

-Hi ! I'm Carmen. Whoa, I love your hair ! How did you get it this long ? Extensions ?

-No, no,… Nadiya replied, laughing inside at the girl's silly suggestion, Its all natural. And I guess... I let it grow all by itself.

-Oh, right,… the tan girl replied awkwardly, so, this is Lily and Tee, they're both my best friends !

She proudly pointed at two girls with dark blond hair, one was tall and the other small, and both waved at the girl smiling.

-I'm Johnny, er… Tee is my sister, he said, gesturing him and the girl. Nadiya saw a little resemblance between them, and nodded.

-Nice to meet you Johnny.

A ginger boy came forward, and his shy eyes barely met the girl's ones. He whispered his name, which was Toby, and started talking about comics, and what he liked. Nadiya said that she used to read a French comic called "Titeuf", when she was small.

-Oh,… he said, sounding disappointed,… well, if you're interested, I have a big collection of comics.

-Toby, I don't think she likes comics, said Carmen, anyway, he's going in three days.

-Oh. Foster family ?

-Yeah.

Then, Gus planted himself in front of Nadiya, pen and note book in hand.

-Full name please.

-Nadiya Johan.

-Age ?

- Fifteen.

Tee smiled while saying : Eh ! You could be friends with Electra ! Johnny added : Yeah she hasn't got any.

-I'm talking ! Cried Gus, Where do you come from ?

-Where is she ? Asked Nadiya, not answering the small boys question.

-Oh, maybe in her ro…

-I'M TALKING !

-Ok, chill out, I 'm originally from Paris, then I moved to London a few years back. Satisfied ? The girl spat. She was annoyed by the boy, and she needed at this very moment the familiar taste of burning smoke. Everyone was taken aback by her sudden reaction, but Gus stayed motionless. Tracy arrived before the silence became uncomfortable.

-So Nadiya, lets go to your room shall we ?

The girl didn't answer, and grabbed one of her suitcases, while Tracy took the other two. They started to climb the stairs, when Gus shouted something about a "tour" in one hour. But the girl didn't pay any attention.

The room was small, the walls were plain white, the bed was large and impeccable, the only furniture was a table, some shelves, and a wardrobe. Tall windows illuminated the place with sunlight, and the floor was covered in bleu-grey carpet.

-I know it's a bit simple, but you can decorate it the way you like tomorrow.

-Exactly how I want too ?

Tracy nodded and smiled, putting down the heavy luggage. She explained the girl that this room was now hers, and that she could do anything she wanted with it. Gina's room was on the left, so in case something wrong happened, she wasn't alone. Nadiya learnt that Tracy was a writer and lived with her foster mum, but right now, she was on her own. Cam, the so called foster mum, was in New York for business. The girl thought she was lucky to have the place to herself, it was all she had ever dreamt of.

-Do you want me to help you unpack ?

-Na, it's all right, I'll manage.

"Go away" Nadiya thought as Tracy hesitated to leave or not. Oh ! What the hell ? She raced to her hand bag, and took out the sacred cigarette, lighted it and smoked. Turning her back to Tracy, her shaking left hand holding the fag, patterns of smoke came out quickly; as if the smoke had become her breath. Gina shouted, and Tracy left the room. At last.

The bed was comfortable. Sitting down on the bed, the girl looked out the window, and listened to the house noises. She could hear Carmen laughing, and bagging noises. The kids here were always on the move, they went up and down the stairs. Such demands of energy was impossible for Nadiya, and imagining going up the stairs then down made her feel sick. Thinking, she realized how lazy her body had become. Every movement that asked an effort was pain; her stiff muscles didn't respond quite well. But there was a time she loved to run, jump, and climb; remember at the park ? Yes, she remembered, but then again, it was only a dead memory.

Someone knocked on the door, and Tracy came back in. Her nose twitched when smelling the air, and she went to open the window. Then turning around, hands on her hips she said :

-Nadiya, Louis is going in ten minutes…

The girl's heart broke.

-What ? But he promised to stay with me tonight ! He was supposed to help me on my first night in this bloody place !

-I know, but he's been called to work, I don't know the details but…

-Shut up !

Nadiya jumped off her bed, ditching her fag out of the window, raced down the stairs, to find Louis shaking hands with Mike… "He's giving me away… He's leaving me…. But I am not prepared… I thought he'd leave tomorrow…"

-You bastard ! she yelled, pointing an accusing finger to her care-worker, You son of a bitch ! You promised you'd stay ! I'm not ready to be on my own ! How can you leave me now ?

Louis tried to grab the girl by her shoulders, but she hissed at his touch.

-Calm down Nadiya, I wouldn't go if I didn't have a choice ! I swear ! It's a call from wo…

-I don't give a mother fucking shit about your work calls. You said that today was about me, that we would face this together, and that nothing would bother, and you…. you go at the first fucking phone call ? What kind of promise is this ? What was the point Louis, of saying things, you cant even keep ?

-Nadiya….

-No ! don't say a word ! It changes nothing ! Go to your fucking work shit and I never want to see your hypocrit face again !

She slammed the door. Grabbing her hair, she screamed, not because of Louis betrayal, but because of the pain she felt in her entire body, and even her soul. A burning feeling, like flames, rustling threw her veins, turned her breath into fire. A headache so strong, thinking had become impossible, thoughts came in and out of her mind, all connected to Louis and herself. She fell to the floor, panting, holding her chest like it was about to break in two. The girl saw the bed, she started moving, until, finally, she crawled under the bed, in the dark.

Cosy darkness, and silence… A true home for the lonely and the ones to pity. Nadiya felt secure; she felt invisible, and since no one could see her, no one would hurt her. Logical, even if your mind just turned into a exploding volcano, the instinct of survival is the most important feeling we have. The girl knew that hiding under the bed, hid her from the world. Alone, in the dark, stewing in her own sour air, her arms rapped around her skinny legs and her head buried into her knees, just like a baby at the beginning of life, the girl cried.

Someone opened the door. It was Tracy. From that moment, Nadiya hated the women with a burning passion. Because of the most unpleasant feeling she brought back with her, while coming into the room : reality. Couldn't the girl stay under the bed a little longer ? Just to finish calming down. Already, she had prepared plans, and activities when coming out: smoking at first, as much as her body demanded, then sleep, if her painful mind would let her.

-Nadiya ? Are you… Oh, um,… The black haired women spotted the girl under the bed. She sat down next to her, and smiled weakly.

-You want to talk ?

-No.

-Hiding is not the solution. Talking will make you feel better, I know it cause I've been in your position before. And I know its not easy.

-You took drugs ?

-No but…

-Ah ! You say you know what it's like but you know nothing ! You want me to talk right ? Well what's the use ? You read my file ! You know how I feel…, The girl let out a loud sob.

Tracy placed a warm hand on the girl's head, and she shivered at her touch. It was true. Tracy couldn't say anything, since she had read her file and details. No one could blame her of being rude, or mean, or quick tempered. She was suffering one of the greatest tortures known to man. When addicted, the drug you take is part of your body, and you cant live without it. It was like taking away all the joy and pleasure out of Nadiya, when she stopped, drowning her into a world of darkness and depression. But then again, I ask you, who could blame her ?

-Don't worry. If you want to talk to Louis, you can always call him !

-Whatever.

Drying her tears, Nadiya crawled out from under the bed ad took the mirror out of her handbag, then with a loud sigh, turned to face Tracy.

-Sorry about that. Panic attack I guess.

-No worry ! I you need anything, and I mean anything, just call me right ? or Gina, or Mike, but I swear I'll help you the best I can.

Nadiya nodded and tried to smile, without success. The girl lighted a cigarette.

-I know you don't really care, but Louis has left you a parcel or something. It looks like a present.

-Don't give a damn.

The girl couldn't stand anymore the silence that took place between them, and went out of her room. Next to her door was a large box, rapped in blue paper, and with a note attached to it :" Forgive me, I am really sorry to let you down. If you need me you've got my number. Here is a little present for your birthday, I wanted to wait before giving it to you. Now that you are settled down, enjoy ! Louis x"

Nadiya took the box in her room, and the look she gave Tracy made her go away. Alone at last, she thought, tearing the paper. Oh…. It was a big Ipod speaker. Louis had given her the best present she could imagine, now she could dance to her music.

Smiling, she had forgotten about her anger. He would always find a way to cheer her up, and he knew how much she wanted an Ipod speaker. She plugged her Ipod onto the speaker and turned it on. First music on her Ipod : Steve Aoki: no beef ( /fjtVjRVHDX0 ).

Dinner went well. Nadiya went to bed not sure what to think about the evening. They had been kind, but so curious, and at least every one had asked her questions about her past. The girl had lied, and turning to Mike, saw he agreed. Then she had finally met Electra. The blue and brown haired girl just starred at Nadiya, studying her from head to toe. Then sniffed and sat down, not bothering to say anything. Nadiya spoke minimally and just answered the questions. Then they started talking about Liam and his mate Frank's disappearance.

-They'll be back in no time, surely, cheerful Tracy said, They can take care of themselves.

-But that's not a reason to brake the rules and wonder off, Gina said between a mouthfull of chicken.

-Don't worry, I'll make sure we have a little talk about this when they come back, Mike just laid back on his chair and closed his eyes stretching, he was exhausted,… These boys sure kill me !

-Shouldn't we call the police ? asked a nervous Toby, his eyes wide with fear, maybe they've had an accident !

-Already done, an hour ago, but I don't think they'll find them, Liam and Frank always come back alone, I mean, almost always…. Tracy choked on a bit of chicken, and a bit ketchup fell on her chin. Everybody giggled, and said nothing, except Gus, who only commented the fact after noting it.

-Your'e not hungry ? Carmen asked Nadiya. The girl hesitated with each mouthful, scared she could become fat. But then again, she thought that a bit of chicken and few veggies would do her good. Maybe it could even stop the headaches, and the pain in her stomach. She was starving.

-I was just going too.

She ate what seemed to be the best meal in her life. The taste of meat, she had misted so much, and the salted brown sauce that came in her mouth, was heavenly. The girl ate all her vegetables, and those of Carmen. She didn't see Mike and Gina sharing a smile.

So yes, dinner had been quite satisfying, but the girl wondered if she had fatten up, and then she thought of making herself puke. But that chicken and its sauce was the best food she had eaten in ages. So tonight,… she would keep it in her. The girl took her make up off, brushed her teeth, and got into her night dress.

Lying down in her bed, and turning on the stereo, she listened to Scanners from Wiz Khalifa ( /J20sTRFhncw ), while rolling a joint. Breathing out the burning substance, she starred at the ceiling, and wondered how she would decorate her room. Keep the walls white, ask someone to paint a grafitti-tag on the wall were her bed leaned, then cover the other walls with posters. In her luggage, she had a big poster of Wiz Khalifa, of Lil Kim, the Bloody Beetroots, Skrillex, and one long one, with written on it :"Natures way of staying high", under the letters was a great cannabis leaf.

After smoking a second joint, the girl went under the covers and closed her eyes, wanting to sleep. The food in her belly made her feel sick, maybe she shouldn't have eaten so much. She had to sleep. Her eyes were painful, and red, but falling asleep was more difficult then she had imagined. Finally, after battling with herself, she slept.

Liam was in front of a very angry Mike and a fuming Gina. He and Franck, had just come back, at midnight.

-And were in God's name have you two been ? Nearly screamed Mike.

-Nice to see you too Mikie boy, Liam said in a natural tune; him and Franck laughed a little,… so we got lost right, and we missed the last bus. Had to walk all the way here,…. so there is no need for a horrible punishment, we've suffered enough.

-I think you'd have a better excuse than that, and count on my skills to find you a punishment to reward your incredible pain coming back here.

-I have no doubt on it…

Then Gina just exploded :

-You two are in trouble ! Go to your rooms NOW !

-Whoa, chill out, were' going.

Liam, closely followed by Frank, left the office and headed to their rooms. Mike said something about having a lecture tomorrow morning. Great thought the boy, a waste of time. Before closing his door, Frank said enthusiastically : You know there's a new girl, Carmen was up and she told me… Liam looked behind his mate and saw all the kids a few meters away, awaken and looking amazed. Frank continued : I wonder what she is like, maybe she's nice !

-Na, I don't think so mate, she'll probably be friends with Carmen and Tee.

-Or Electra ! joked Frank

Liam mimed throwing up, and closed his door. Even if the new girl thing didn't excite him, he still wondered what she looked like.

Nadiya woke up with a gasp and held her head between her palms. She couldn't sleep anymore. It was two in the morning, and the girl just turned over and over in her bed. Lighting up a cigarette, she closed her eyes and the bad memories came back.

_ Alone, and feeling nothing, because there is nothing,… AH ! No lights, no sound, just a great, cruel emptiness…_

_It's driving her crazy. The small, barely living female is haggled up in a corner._

_ Her eyes are closed, her mouth is dry, and her mind is dead._

_In this room, the door is closed, the windows are celled, the floor is cold, and there's this smell… Horrid !_

_But the female doesn't mind any more, she is used to it, like she is used to the dark, to the hunger, but never will she be used to the silence._

_The silence._

_Its driving her crazy…_

_Her body is dying….and so is her mind._

_Its been poisoned… Its only dark,… and there is nothing._

_Light._

_The pain of her burning eyes made the female scream, her tiny pale hands holding her sockets on fire, moaning._

_Stop…_

_A word. Out of her dry throat, like a whisper, a prayer to stop moral and physical torture. _

_The tiny mass of her body fell on the floor, ready to beg._

_Its the Witch._

_She has come too feed the pathetic female._

_Life._

_There is life in the room. The female can hear the breathing, can smell, almost taste the Witch wickedness._

_Her heavy gaze is squashing the youngling like a thousand tones on her back._

_Alone again._

_But the light is still on._

_She opened her eyes and the tears spread. _

_Oh,… there is food on the floor._

_A bool of… what is it ? some sort of pasta with… Never mind._

_The female ate._

_Then she saw IT._

_Her eyes widened, and she choked in fear._

_No!_

_The flour ! The tube ! _

_The small round, grey plate, with_

_the tube, the flour. _

_No ! _

_Not again !_

_No !_

_The female groaned in fear. _

_Its the wicked flour ! The one that drive's you crazy and burns your soul. _

_It turns you into something inhuman._

_But the female knew that, untaken, the flour would stay in the same place, and the sight of it frightened her. _

_Also, the Witch wanted the female to take the flour as she was told, to have food. Otherwise, there would be any._

_And the female didn't want to die._

_The tube._

_One end in her nostril, the other near the fine tray of powder._

_She breathed._

_Up it goes…_

_Up…_

_Up…_

_Up…_

_In her brain…._

_In her lungs…_

_In her stomach…_

_in her entire body…_

_Aa…aaa…aaaa…_

_Up…_

_Up…_

_Up…_

_Up… _

_Up… _

_Up… _

_And…_

_Down. _

-Louis…, Nadiya felt her salty tears melt on her tongue. All these terrible memories, all this pain, and the drugs she took so young. As you would have guessed, the first time Nadiya took cocaine, it was against her will; of course she would have avoid it naturally, but now it was too late. It had become an addiction. She was trying to stop, start a new life, but God, was it difficult.

She needed to feel the wrath of a reassuring body, a presence to calm her down. The girl felt so depressed that she'd give anything to be with someone. If only Louis hadn't left.

Oh !but there was Gina. Her room was next to hers, on purpose. She could go and see the friendly woman. Nadiya got up clumsily, letting out a sob. Taking a piece of tissue, she wiped off the tears on her cheeks and sticky hands. She had to be strong until meting with Gina, in case any one was up at the same time as her. No weakness shall be showed in front of the others. That was a promise the girl made to herself. She opened the door and stepped in the corridor. Gina's room was next to hers, but left or right again ? She couldn't remember.

"Why now ? I don't need this ?" thought the girl, hesitating between both doors. Anyway, she'll just have to see if Gina is lying in the bed, and if not try the other room. Simple enough for the broken girl, who slowly opened the right door. With shaking legs, she stepped into the room. It was dark. She couldn't see if it was Gina in the bed or not. Her legs were shaking, she decided to speak aloud, but all that came out of her mouth was a slow gargle.

Holding her stomach with both arm, her head spinning, she approached the bed and saw a figure. Its breathing was low and peaceful. When coming to the bed, Nadiya felt several objets and clothes (or what she could define by clothes) on the floor. Before waking the person up, she thought that Gina wasn't the messy kind and that her room would be tidy. Surely this room wasn't hers. The girl felt more tired than before, at the thought of going out again and in the other room. She was about to collapse.

Slowly turning around, her foot tripped on something hard and she fell with a gasp and a loud THUMP, her eyes still wide open, trying to scan whatever was around her. Her mind panicked. She was unable to move, and started crying. Her painful mind stopped thinking.

Liam opened his eyes at the sudden noise and sat up from under the covers. Sitting down, he groaned. If one of the things he disked the most, was being woken up in the middle of the night for no reason. If this was one of Johnny's bad jokes, he was certainly going to be pissed off. No, really, who would wake him up like this ? Maybe one person.

-Electra, If its you, who had that "not funny idea for a joke", your'e going to regret it! he spat, turning on the small light on his bedside table. A shy light lit the room, and Liam's eyes narrowed when seeing the incredible scene at his feet: On the floor, only a meter away, a girl was on the floor, panting softly. Her face hid under the long, wild, mass of hair that covered also her back and shoulders, with its blond curls. Her shoulders appeared to be bare, as we could see under the hair bits, pale skin. The night dress she wore only covered a little of her body and it was easy to notice the skinniness of the girl. Her ribcage, hips, arms and legs were visible. And there she was, the mysterious, broken, girl, on his floor, weeping in her golden hair. At this very moment, Liam believed in God, and that one of his angels had fallen from the sky.

-Errr… and you are ? He asked, not sure what to say. Gently, he kneeled besides her. He touched her shoulder and she shivered at his touch. The girl turned her face and they made eye contact. God did she look tired, almost dead, but what choked Liam was her eyes. Red, puffy, but also incredibly beautiful. They were ice blue. But maybe what was hypnotizing was the terrible message they sent : a pleading call for help and broken heart.

-Eh… You ok ? whats wrong ?

The girl starred at him and suddenly hugged him, rapping her arms and legs around him. She held onto him like he was the only thing left to save her, she was desperate. Burrying her face in his neck, she deeply inhaled the secure odor of his warm body. His presence was perfect. Him or Gina, it didn't matter. She was so comfortable on his chest, she couldn't move, and his body heat gave her energy and comfort. The girl had someone to hold onto.

Liam was truly taken aback by the sudden move. His fallen angel just jumped on him, and held him tight. Well, it's not like he disliked it, but this was still all very strange. With his strong arms, he embraced her and rested his head on her shoulder. She smelled of fag.

They stayed in this position for a few minutes. The boy didn't protest or move. This mysterious girl had just found herself in his room, she wanted a cuddle, why not…. at nearly three in the morning. But maybe it was time he made her acquaintance. Gently pushing her away, he starred in her eyes.

-You want me to call Gina ?

The girl shook her head lightly and her mind snapped back into reality. This was maybe the most embarrassing moment of her life. She got up slowly, blushing a little. Putting herself in his place, she really did look like a mad woman giving away free hugs. God help.

Liam got up and smiled widely.

-Now we had a girly hug, you could tell me what's wrong ?

-Bad dream, panic attack I suppose. Sorry.

-No problem. Ya know, If I could meet every girl this way, he said winking. The girl smiled at his joke, still embarrassed by the previous event.

-It'd be good if this stayed just between you and me…

-Yeah, don't worry. Got a name ?

-Nadiya. You ?

-Liam.

-Ah! You're the Liam then.

-Why ? Am I that popular ?

-I don't know, but you were today.

They stayed silent a while then the boy stretched and said : So what do we do ? We go back to sleep or stay up all night ? Your choice.

Nadiya, even if she wanted to talk to him all night, knew that he was tired and needed to sleep. If only she could do the same.

-I think I'll let you sleep.

-That's very kind of you.

The girl turned around and said goodnight before heading back to her room. But instead she rushed to the bathroom and threw up.

_So, what did you think ? R&R please, it really makes me happy, and encourages me. Much love from Paris x_


End file.
